My personal belief generally stands in opposition to this concept. Before someone gets upset thinking that I am now going to proceed and undermine a wife's call to respect her husband, let me explain.
I have expressed in the past that I believe in submission. But I also believe that confrontation in a marriage is sometimes both good and necessary. The call to submit to your husband does not negate a call to confront sin when necessary. Here's why:
You are brothers and sisters in Christ.
When you became your husband's wife, you did not give up your status as his sister in Christ. All throughout Scripture, particularly in the New Testament, believers are called to exhort one another, encourage one another, admonish one another, instruct one another and rebuke one another.
You are called to be your husband's helper.
God very often chooses to use relationships and community as major tools in the sanctification process. Where is your closest source of community? In your marriage. If your husband is falling short in an area that is not pleasing to God, you are the person who will see it most clearly. If you ignore those areas - impatience, irresponsibility, laziness, anger, a lack of love - you are not helping him to become more Christlike. Similarly, your husband is not helping you to become more Christlike if he ignores the areas where you fall short and need to be transformed. A good helper will lovingly and gently participate in the sanctification process.
Now, the dangers here are numerous. We wives are just as sinful as our husbands and therefore, we often do not do confronting very well. We can slip into a critical spirit. We can be motivated by hurt feelings and bitterness. We can confront with harshness and anger. We can mistake weaknesses and annoyances for actual sin. We can enjoy confrontation and find pleasure in pointing out failures.
So how do we do this correctly? I'll be following up in another post later this week, so stay tuned!
What do you think? Are confrontation and submission in conflict with each other?