|That is an ENTIRE bag of cornmeal that he pilfered from my pantry.|
Don't laugh. There actually is a pretty good deeper message here.
Since many of you reading this are possibly not technology-savvy enough to make the connection (like me), I'll elaborate. We recently bought a new-to-us Toyota Sienna (after years of swearing we would never drive a mini-van...that was pre-three-children). The van is equipped with Bluetooth and on our recent drive up to Pennsylvania to visit my parents, we thought we'd catch up on Matt Chandler sermons via the Podcast app on my phone. In order to do this, we had to 1) get the van to recognize my phone and 2) tell the van to pair the Bluetooth technology with my phone so that it could play wirelessly. All of this had to be done while pulled over on the highway using voice recognition with a shrieking toddler in the background. It worked. Eventually.
Anyway...here's my husband's marriage analogy: in order to build a good marriage, you first have to recognize each other for who they are. You have to acknowledge their interests, their personality, their strengths and their weaknesses. Once you recognize who your spouse is, you have to make the choice to sync your life with theirs. There is no more independence...no more separateness...just oneness. And once you've synced up, marriage flows a lot more smoothly. The more separate you try to stay, the worse your marriage is going to function. This is not to say that you aren't actually still two separate entities...I'm still Elizabeth and he's still Dave, but we function better as a unit.
I have to admit that a red flag immediately goes up in my mind whenever I hear about a couple living separate lives. Maybe they're both working and pursuing their individual careers which leave no time to be together. Maybe the wife is obsessed with her children and ignoring the husband. Maybe the husband is overly obsessed with fitness and spends hours at the gym while his wife hits up the local bars with her girlfriends. More often than not, that couple ends up filing for divorce. They grew apart. Well, of course they did! If you aren't growing together, you're growing apart!
If you are one of those couples that can feel the space between you or you feel like there are constant quibbles that are happening simply because you are out of touch with each other, turn around and look at your spouse. Really look at him. Put aside the distractions. Take a step towards him and work on being a team.
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