Monday, August 6, 2012

Cultural Lies About Marriage

Well, you all know the title of this blog - Warrior Wives.  And I think you all know that I'm all into being radical in our behavior within our marriage.  Guess what?  I'm all into being radical in our mindset and radical in our worldviews as well.  I've been mulling over this post for a while and I initially thought I would tackle it in one single post, but that turned out to be insane.  There's too much to say and too much I know we'll all need to discuss together.  

I'd like to challenge us to rethink some of the popular cultural attitudes towards marriage.  These are aspects that even the church has bought into and that most of us believe are completely normal.  But the thing is, when it comes down to it, many of these beliefs are simply not Scriptural.  And I'm all about going back to Scripture and using it as a basis for life.  Why?  Well, because...

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. (2 Tim 3:16-17)

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12)

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence (2 Peter 1:3)

I'm guessing that many of you will feel uncomfortable with some of the things I'm going to challenge.  I know that because I was uncomfortable when I began to be challenged on some of these things.  My mind kept jumping to the "but-what-abouts" of every situation.  But much of the time I had light-bulb moments as I realized that what I believed came not from Scripture but from secular sources.  I also realize that many of you will completely disagree based on your interpretation of Scripture or your own personal experience.  That's fine.  I get it.  Let's talk about it.  

So this is going to be a series...and I'm only going to do one topic per week.  Every topic will need to be digested, and I welcome discussion and even disagreement.  But I would like to ask a few things:

1) Let yourself be uncomfortable and wrestle through any thoughts that are different to you.
2) Let's stick to Scripture.  If you disagree, please point it out Scripturally.  
3) Let's be respectful of each other's viewpoints and let's assume that everyone is goodwilled.  No judging of another reader's spiritual maturity or immaturity.  

Here are the topics I'd like to tackle over the next several weeks:

1) God only wants us to be happy in our marriages; unhappy marriages are out of God's will.

2) Only the professionals have the tools to generate change in a struggling marriage.

3) Divorce is the only solution when a spouse commits adultery.

4) Abuse requires an immediate and automatic divorce (I'm actually going to back off this one and allow an abuse survivor to address it.)

5) "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior": can anyone experience real permanent change?

I'll start this series tomorrow with the first one on the list.   Looking forward to some great discussions!

Is there anything you think should be added to the list?  What lies do you think Christians have believed about marriage?

11 comments:

  1. There is also the lie within some churches that having a "gentle and quiet spirit" means not speaking up when your husband sins and the distorted view that this is actually a sign of submission. In other words, people think that "quiet" means keeping your mouth shut. This goes against clear biblical truth, such as Matthew 18 to name one example. It makes me wonder in what other ways we, as Christians, distort the truth...much like you mentioned in point one. Looking forward to this series!
    by-his-grace.blogspot.com

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  2. I love this blog! I can't wait to see where you go with these topics!

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  3. Oh, that's a good one. I wasn't even thinking about the lies that the ultra-conservative/legalistic churches perpetuate. One of the other lies that some of those types of churches spread is that wives should silently endure physical abuse.

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  4. I'm looking forward to this series. Marriage is always on my heart.
    What about the confused gender roles in marriages? I know many christian women struggle with this, myself included. (And it doesn't seem to matter if a husband is a believer or not.)
    Thats all I can think of! Again I can't wait to read through your posts! :) Praying for you!

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  5. Very much looking forward to this! I think it is shocking how much of what we believe (about many things but especially about marriage) does NOT come from the Bible. It really takes a willingness to lay aside presuppositions and just listening to God.

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  6. Looking forward to reading & feeling uncomfortable (for a good purpose)!

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  7. Looks like a great list, Elizabeth. Looking forward to lots of good posts from you : )

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  8. I'm honestly slightly nervous about this series...someone is going to hate me. :)

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  9. I sure don't blame you for being nervous. We could start a club, maybe??? :)

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  10. Yes!! We can call it something like "The Persecuted Blogger Club"...

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  11. Hahaha! Glad I ended up checking the comments because I totally just laughed out loud! =D

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