When Did Discretion Go Out of Style?

Well, here we go again. A few weeks ago, I wrote about how fired up I was about Fifty Shades of Grey. And then a few days ago, a friend from church texted me telling me that I should write about "Magic Mike" (which for those of you who don't know is a recently released film about an older male stripper taking a young stripper under his wing). Honestly, I had no idea what she was talking about, so I had to Google it. My first reaction? REALLY?!?! COME ON GIRLS!!! WE'RE SMARTER THAN THIS!!

I'm not going to write about "Magic Mike".  Because "Magic Mike" isn't really the problem.  And honestly, neither is Fifty Shades of Grey.  What I'm more concerned about is the fact that we Christian women are lacking in discretion.  It seems as though we have just bought into the lies that 1) it's harmless entertainment, 2) it's ok to objectify men, and 3) that it's ok to lust after another man.  

When did discretion go out of style?  When did we start thinking it was a bad thing?  

I don't want to preach at you, so let me tell you about a really poor choice my husband and I made regarding our entertainment choices. A few years ago, we started watching the "Rome" miniseries from HBO. The fact that it was from HBO should have clued us in to the fact that it would be inappropriate - and I vaguely remember having twinges of thinking it would be terrible - but we went ahead and started watching them. Let me tell you, it was the single most inappropriate thing I have ever watched. It was porn. Nudity. Explicit sex. Why did we continue watching it? Because we got sucked into the story. We kept justifying watching it with, But it's such a good story. We've got to finish it now. We finished it and then a while later, we watched a few seasons of "The Tudors" (Showtime). Same thing. We both agree that we should never have watched either one. Neither was glorifying to God. Recently, we watched one episode of "Game of Thrones" (HBO)...well, part of one...and then we turned it off.

When did we all start accepting and even choosing entertainment that flagrantly exploits sins...that encourages lust...that inspires impurity?

In Titus 2:4-5, Paul outlines several things that older women are to teach younger women: and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.  Evidently, the younger women back in Paul's day struggled with making pure decisions as well.  Proverbs offers an opinion on what a woman's lack of discretion looks like: Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.  A gold ring in a pig's snout.  Something precious and beautiful now defiled.  


I'm certainly not trying to perpetuate a legalistic mindset when it comes to making wise entertainment decisions.  I'm not going to say I think you should only read the Bible and watch BBC literary dramas (although the 1995 version of Pride and Prejudice is pretty awesome and you're seriously missing out if you haven't seen it).  But it is not a bad thing to be discreet or to make choices to put into our minds that which will build us up instead of shove us down into the gutter.  Think about this in relation to your children.  If you, like me, allow your kids to watch TV, do you allow them to watch anything they want?  If we think a particular show or movie is too violent, we don't allow them to watch it because 1) we want to protect their innocence and 2) because we would never want them to imitate it.  Discretion is a means of protection for our minds.  If you think that you, as a woman, are immune to getting sucked into porn like men are, think again.  Read this woman's story of finding God after pornography. It's ok to maintain your innocence as an adult.  Once you've seen it, you can never erase it.  You can never "not know" what you find out.  Maybe you won't remember every inappropriate scene, but you'll remember too many of them.  


And those inappropriate scenes?  They are perversions and mockeries of something awesome that God made.  Sex is awesome.  God wants us to have sex.  Good sex.  God also wants us to desire our own husbands and to think our own husbands are hot, not comment on the hotness of every single other man.  Consider this advice from blogger Carla Anne: 

"It is inappropriate to talk about good-looking men – in movies, or in church, or on a sports team, or wherever – unless he is YOUR husband. But don’t just stop talking about all the other guys… be sure to let your husband know that he is all you allow yourself to feast your eyes on and that you are choosing HIM as your sexy man.

Am I saying looks are not important? No.

Am I saying that we shouldn’t enjoy the beauty of God’s creation? No.

I am saying that as married Christian women we need to make a covenant with our eyes (like Job did) and keep our hearts, minds and words pure. Never speak about another man’s ‘sexiness’. The only person’s sexiness you have any right to talk about is your husband’s, and then only if it is in a good way.

I remember going to see one of the Twilight movies, watching Taylor Lautner in the (many) shirtless scenes (um, because apparently werewolves can't wear shirts??), admiring the six-pack, and thinking, I feel like I'm cheating on my husband!  I actually had to look away because, seriously, my husband does not need to compete with that.  And actually...I really do think he's more attractive than Taylor Lautner anyway; not much of a contest.  

I know that many of our husbands are no longer the hot stud they were when you got married, but your own husband is still supposed to be enough!  We're not supposed to be finding pleasure in other men, even if it is just by looking!  Too radical?  Don't you think most of us could afford to be just a tad more radical in protecting our marriages?


It may not seem as though a few decisions to watch a movie like "Magic Mike" or read a book like Fifty Shades of Grey would defile our minds.  But as I've said before, it's the small things that add up.  Make good choices and protect your purity.  God will honor it.

God has ordained that the sweetest and truest pleasure shall flow from adherence to principle.

~ William Thayer, The Good Girl and True Woman, 1892

Sharing with:  Finding Beauty, Your Thriving Family, Beholding Glory, The Better Mom, The Alabaster Jar, Time Warp Wife, Far Above Rubies, Wifey Wednesday, Women Living Well, NOBH, Consider the Lilies