Created To Be His Helpmeet by Debi Pearl.
When I asked my sister in law about it, her initial response was that when she first started reading it she thought, Whoa!! This...is a bit radical. But the more she read it and the more she thought about the state of marriages today, she came to the realization that we could all use to be a little more radical in our marriages.
I couldn't agree more.
First, I agree that the book IS a tad radical (and strange) in many ways. I won't get into that now, but you can read my review on my other blog here.
Second, I agree that we could all use to be a little more radical.
In his book, What Did You Expect?, Paul Tripp writes that, "there is an epidemic of marital laziness among us (p.59)". I think there is also an epidemic of selfishness, and that the two epidemics make for an uphill battle to have a great marriage. Everything is about me, and my rights, but I don't want to do anything to change things. Sometimes we need to think drastically and radically to begin the process of change.
Let me give an example of how we can think radically:
Submission. The dreaded word. Read Ephesians 5:24
Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Oh goodness...everything? Really??? The objection to submission generally comes in some form of "But what about me??"
What about you? Aren't we called to do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves? (Phil 2:3)
How radical would it be if we actually did it? If we returned that brown fleur-de-lis shower curtain that we thought was awesome because FLEUR DE LIS! FRENCH! FRANCE! (I used to be a French teacher) but our husband hated it? Not that that has EVER happened to me. Ahem. Or if we purposed to stay in shape because our husband values fitness and health. Or if our husband told us he hated ruffles on clothes and we then chose to not buy clothes with ruffles even though they are just oh-so-pretty-and-girly-and-we-just-loooovvve-them. Or if we agreed not to use birth control because our husband felt convicted to leave all family planning up to God. Or if we didn't take that amazing job because our husband feels strongly about wanting his wife to have the primary influence on her children by staying at home with them. Or if your husband tells you he wants a granite countertop in the bathroom but you've been dying for a nice white one and you have the whole room planned out in your head.
Wouldn't that be a radical expression of unselfishness?
There's always objections. There are always but what abouts? We always want to go back to what he should be doing. And sure, he should be doing unselfish, loving things as well, BUT! The truth is that if your marriage is going to survive, it's going to take a certain degree of radicalness. And it's going to have to start with one of you.
So why not you?
In what ways has God called you to be radical in your marriage? How has God blessed your radical actions?
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