Well, let's see how many pageviews I can get on this one...Yep, you read that right. I'm reviewing a sex book. I thought if I started out with this one, it might attract attention to the other reviews I plan on doing. Don't worry, it isn't too scandalous. And it is a Christian book.
Here we go: The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire.
Sheila Gregoire has taken the same topic and written a great book that covers a wide range of women in a wide range of circumstances. If you are preparing for marriage - virgin or non-virgin - this book is for you. If you are a newlywed wife, this book is for you. And if you've been married for a while and sex has gotten ordinary and mundane, this book is also for you.
One thing that bothers me about how Christian women frequently discuss sex is that they tend to talk in euphemisms. I remember Dave and I attending one marriage conference where the men and women were split up for the "sex session". At the beginning of the session, the female speaker declared that we were going to be open! honest! direct! no beating around the bush about sex! And then for the rest of the session, she proceeded to refer to sex as "special physical time with your husband". I get that we live in an over-sexualized society and that we should be discreet, however, there is a point at which total and direct honesty about it is necessary and helpful. I'm not gonna lie, this book is very straightforward. After challenging the unbiblical mindsets that many women have towards sex, Sheila presents the godly ways in which we should approach sex. And then she moves on to the nuts and bolts. Whoa. I do think my eyebrows went up a few times as I thought, Wow, we're going "there"!! It would have answered every single question I had before I got married. Every single one. What exactly happens during sex? Does it hurt? What positions do people use? What does it feel like? What happens afterwards? What are the options for birth control? Why does he want sex all the time?
What I most appreciate about this book is the challenge that Sheila throws out to all married women. She challenges us to not allow ourselves to be selfish, to demand that sex only happen on our own terms, only when we feel like it. She encourages us to see our husbands as having different needs that are not wrong, just different, and to see meeting his sexual needs as an act of service. She tells us to enjoy sex, initiate it and desire it. She discusses building a friendship out of which intimacy naturally grows, maintaining sex as a priority even after kids are born, and taking care of ourselves both so that we feel more sensual and so we are attractive to our spouses as well.
When I first started reading this book, I thought I was just reading it so that I could review it on this blog. I kind of skimmed the first part of it which was directed more to engaged women/newlyweds thinking that I wouldn't gain anything from it. I was so wrong. I needed to read this book. To be honest, the sexual aspect of our marriage has been the most difficult aspect to maintain after the birth of our third child in November. Dave and I have had several conversations where we've discussed how that area needs to be focused on more. But I've honestly been a little blase about it. I haven't taken it very seriously. I haven't tried all that hard. And I've ignored Dave's needs fairly often, just sort of laughing it off. I needed a kick in the pants. I needed to be reminded that sex in marriage is something that God created for our enjoyment and for our protection. I needed to remember that sex is good. I needed to remember how to make it a priority. So this one will be staying on my bookshelf!!
Go get this one! Pass it on to anyone you know who is either getting married or who needs to be challenged in this area. Happy reading! And happy...well, I won't go there. Just have fun!
P.S. You can also check out Sheila's blog: To Love, Honor and Vacuum. It's one of my favorites!
Sharing with: The Alabaster Jar, The Better Mom, Time-Warp Wife, Far Above Rubies